it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
