Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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