I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
