I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize