SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
