I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
