I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
God, I missed his penis.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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