It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
