my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This baby is an asshole
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
