Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
