You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
