allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
