If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
