just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
