i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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