You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
