its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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