i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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