I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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