He asked to "fluff my boner.."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
