my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
