Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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