yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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