seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just blew my weed a kiss
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
