took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
