every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
