my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
