i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
