My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
