He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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