You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish my penis had a tongue
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
