dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
