How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
