According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This is my gift to your gina
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk is not a location!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
