i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
