she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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