remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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