how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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