I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize