I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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