I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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