she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
