Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
NoShamevember. You game?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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