Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
