she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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