She said her name was "party"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
