my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
