I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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