Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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