wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
