He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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