Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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