So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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