does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
