Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
