They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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