worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
