Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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