who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
