If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
