clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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