i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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