Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
